Ten years ago, as I was preparing to turn forty my then husband asked me what I wanted to do to celebrate that milestone. I think he was fishing for a trip somewhere or a big party, but what I really wanted to do was apply for an MFA program to further my career in art. I had found a low-residency program in Hays, Kansas that looked like it would be a good fit and it wasn't too expensive, so I applied, got in, and started my next adventure. While going to school, working, and taking care of my family was a lot of work, I was happy to be pursuing a goal that I had wanted for some time and the time flew by!

By the end of my third year in school I felt that I had this degree in the bag and all I had left to do was spend my fourth and final year working on my thesis show, which would be fun. Then the bomb dropped. At the beginning of June my husband of twenty years came home and informed me he was in love with one of his co-workers and needed (deserved in his words) to have an affair with her. I was devastated, but we tried to work it out. After four difficult months he informed me that he wanted to move out and I didn't fight him on it. Truth be told, I couldn't stand any more of the lies and broken promises, so I let him go.

I have to tell you; I was so heartbroken. The foundation that I had built the last twenty years of my life was suddenly gone and I didn't know what I was going to do. I had to find a full-time job, get both kids to schools that were thirty minutes away from each other, take care of said kids, and don't forget, finish that degree. Thankfully my daughter was 17 and able to help out a bunch as did some friends who took my younger son into their home after school, but I think we were all saddened and upset by my soon-to-be ex's decision. (Thank you, Zoe, Helen, and Paul for all your help! I couldn't have done it without you!)

From where I stood, completing the last little bit of work I had left for my thesis show seemed like an overwhelming task. I was able to enlist a friend to help with my thesis catalog, thank goodness, but I still needed some work to finalize the project. It was then, at the lowest part of my life, that I began making the largest, most ambitious sculptures I had ever made, much to my surprise. You can see an image of one of them at the top of this newsletter, that piece was over two feet tall before firing and it barely fit into the kiln!

I found it strange that I was suddenly making such large work, but I guess big emotions lead to big art. I realized after a while that I was using my art to make new foundations for myself now that the foundation of my marriage was gone. I found solace in my artwork despite the sadness and severe depression I was fighting and was able to make something beautiful from it.

I will be turning fifty this spring and it's easy for me to look back on the last decade of my life and see a lot of failure and missed opportunities, but I also need to give myself credit for getting through all of that: a divorce, severe depression, not making the art career for myself I had wanted to. Instead, I have spent the last seven years rebuilding my life with a new career (as a stockbroker of all things—that's another story) and a new marriage. To be fair, I have been working to build my art career, just not as quickly as I might have wanted. As I move into my fifties, I find myself asking again what I want for my birthday, and I find that the answer is to finally be the artist I know I can! I want to thank each and every one of you for your support and your belief in me. I truly appreciate it!

On that note, I do want to mention that April Cannon Studio has been accepted into the Cherry Creek Arts Festival this summer. The festival will be 4th of July weekend and I hope to see you all there! I will let you know what other events I will be attending this summer as my schedule gets finalized and you can always purchase my work online at AprilCannonStudio.net

~April

I've been working through an artist's marketing program called The Abundant Artist. One of the questions we've been exploring through the course is what makes your artwork and you as an artist unique. As I look back through the years I've been making artwork one thing that stands out is the struggle to create. Early on it was a struggle to find time to create while raising young children, but that struggle was essential to me discovering myself as an artist and finding the work I needed to create. When you don't have a lot of time to make, the time you do spend creating becomes sacred and there is a distillation that occurs, forcing you to find your voice.

The next great challenge in my art development occurred when I decided to enroll in an MFA program. I was finally in an environment where I felt obligated to push myself artistically. It was a period of being allowed to explore new things artistically, but for which I was also being judged (graded) and it was terrifying. Over time, though, I found myself growing more and more confident in myself and in my artwork. This was also the period when I embraced the skills of mold-making and slip-casting, allowing myself to make these techniques my own.

About three quarters of the way through the MFA experience my greatest challenge to date came. I had certainly had challenges in my adult life: a miscarriage at the age of 24, the death of my brother, the challenges of becoming a mother and having to put my kids and my family before myself. During these challenging times I had always had the security and foundation of my marriage to support me. Then, suddenly, my husband was having an affair and I discovered that the foundation I had build the last twenty years of my life upon was being swept out from under me. I felt lost, scared, and hopeless. I was worried I would be forced to give up the degree that I had been working so hard on but refused to do so. He could take his love and support away from me, but I wasn't going to let him take away the MFA degree I had wanted for so long and had worked so hard for.

In retrospect, it was a good thing I decided not to give up on the MFA. This gave me something to focus on during a time when the rest of my life was in upheaval, though, because of the depression I was struggling with, it often felt like an insurmountable task. In spite of all this turmoil, I found a way to use my art practice to build a place of peace and stability both during the divorce process and now as I work to rebuild my life after working through severe depression. The sculptures I build that combine the slip-cast flower-like pieces with the rough “stone” bases were my attempts to create a place of strength and stability where I could focus on things that have always brought me peace like enjoying the beauty and creativity of nature through plants and flowers. This work speaks to me of perseverance more than anything. The perseverance of a plant to struggle up through difficult, rocky soil to grow and thrive.

I do hope that those who view my work are able to find a bit of peace and tranquility through it just as I was able to find a refuge during the hours I spent working on the artwork. For me, making art is often a place where I can be free of the fear, loss, and depression that has defined my life over the past four years and I am using art as a way of creating the new life that I need and deserve.